Oliver’s Birth

Well, for the first time I am sitting at my house, on my due date, with baby sleeping in his crib. Ha. That is right, I had my boy the day BEFORE his E.D.D. πŸ™‚

Friday I spent my day, running back and fourth between my midwives office, and walking around town trying to get this baby ready for birth. Finally around 7pm we were given the go ahead to come to the hospital since contractions were 5 minutest apart and we knew I was at least 5cm dilated. We got checked in, 6cm, and headed to our room in labor and delivery. The nurses and my midwife kept complimenting me on how well I was handling my, sometimes 3 1/2 minute, contractions. We walked. I used a birthing ball. I got in the beautiful, giant tub. I sat on the toilet. It was time. I knew it. I got in the bed on hands and knees. Holy cow, it was getting painful. For a second I thought why I was crazy and chose not to get a epidural this time like I did with my girls, but I took a deep breath. I told myself that I could do this. I wanted this birth. I wanted to show myself my body was MADE to do this. Natural. No drugs. I asked my midwife to break my water since we could feel it right there and it just didn’t want to break open. She got her tools ready, went to check how far I was dialted and as soon as her finger touched my amunatic sac, it busted open. No tools needed. The gush of liquid felt wonderful. It took some pressure off. You know, for a whole 2 seconds. It was time to push. I felt him right there. I was in a weird, on my side, position but I needed to push. No time to get on a birthing stool like I had planned, but right there in the bed on my side. I pushed for what seemed like forever, but really was maybe only 10 minutes. My beautiful boy was here. Perfect in every way. I did it. I birthed a baby. No pitocin to induce. No drugs or epidural to deal with pain. My body no only carried this perfect human, it delivered him by itself. I was exhausted. I was in pain. I was proud. Daddy caught him, and brought him straight to my chest. I kissed and loved on him while daddy waited for the umbilical to stop pulsing so he could cut it. It was cut, I brought little Oliver Xavier to my chest and instantly he latched on like a pro. I was so in love. But in that moment I knew something wasn’t right. I just didn’t feel good. I wanted that 2 hours of bonding, nursing, loving, but I didn’t feel comfortable holding him. I felt too weak. I saw my midwife jump into action after birthing my placenta. Pushing hard on my belly trying to get my uterus to harden up. She’d stop, then as she would get up I’d feel a huge gush of blood and clots. She’d check, change the pad, and starting pushing. I started to get nauseous. Then the room start to spin, my hearing was fading. A doctor was called in. More nurses. More pushing. The doctor and midwife took turns trying to scrape out my uterus with their fingers, trying to get out some placenta they felt in there. Oxygen mask went on. Pitocin and fluids were running through the IV in my arm. My husband watched in fear while trying to comfort our new, perfect son. I looked around the room watching what was happening, but so out of it. Knowing this wasn’t right. Scared to shut my eyes. I felt like I was out of my body, watching as I screamed at the top of my lungs as they kept pushing and digging for that little bit on placenta that was causing so much blood loss. They put some drugs in the IV. Pain was starting to lose its edge. I was still felt so out of it, but I could communicate a little better. 5th time is a charge. More clots and a tiny pit of placenta. Bleeding has finally slowed down.Β  After loosing at least 40% of my blood. Slowly color returned to my face. The drugs helped me fall asleep. I woke up 2 hours later feeling much better. Weak. but better. The IV drugs had worn off, but the pitocin was still pumping. I got some Motrin to help with the cramping. Hubby woke up, still looking worried. But once he saw I didn’t need the oxygen and had color to my face and lips he was put at ease. I sent him home to get some sleep, seeing as I wasn’t leaving the labor and delivery room anytime soon, and because I got a room with a tub, there was no bed for him to sleep on.Β  I sat there for a while just looking around. Baby was born at 12:19am. It was now 4:00am. It seemed like days had passed, but really all that in just 4 hours. It was scary. Not expected. But we made it. Oliver woke up and was brought to me. Finally I get my bonding time with him. He cuddled and nursed and I just help on tight loving on this perfect child. Thanking God for this perfect child and for allowing me to be there to love on him.

After that things went pretty smooth. Pediatrician came to check our little Ollie out. He confirmed, he was perfect in every way. My bleeding was light, and colored was good. Finally at 9am blood work came back saying that my iron was low, but at an ok level. No blood transfusion was needed or iron supplement. Due to the postpartum rooms being all used, we had to wait until Noon to finally move to a more spacious room. The girls came to meet their brother, as did grandmas. Around 4pm hubby left so he could spend some daddy time with the girls. I tried to get some rest in between feedings. Oliver just wanted to cuddle. I was thrilled with the fact the nurses didn’t seem concerned that I would have Oliver sleep with me, instead of his bassinet. (With Rhem, a nurse yelled at me that I was not allowed to hold Rhem when I slept, but I could not get Ollie to sleep in his bassinet, every time I laid him down he would scream because he was so gassy.) Around 7pm PJ came back to the hospital with the girls so they could love on their brother a little more and give mom some hugs and laughs. A little before 9pm they left, leaving mommy and baby to try and get some rest. In the morning they checked my blood again. My iron level dropped to 6. I was worried they wouldn’t let me leave today like I had wanted, but since my bleeding was very little and I wasn’t light headed and was able to move around just fine, they gave me 110ml of iron supplement and a prescription of iron pills to take this week to help me get closer to normal. Hubby arrived back to the hospital. Helped me pack up our things, we got some newborn pictures taken, and we were free to leave. It was an exhausting, frighting, 36 hours but we were heading home feeling pretty good with a beautiful, healthy baby. Thanking God for His goodness.

Rhemidy Loves having her brother and mom home. Hadiley seems a little mad at me, but slowly warming back up. Thank you every one for your kind words and prayers over me and baby Ollie.

Now for the good part, pictures. πŸ˜‰

Oliver Xavier. 9lbs. 1oz. 20 inches.
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-brittney

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2 months (Hadi)

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Hadiley is 2 months old today. Her eyes are still a gorgeous blue, and her skin is like porcelain. (I know, I also do not believe she came from me! haha) She spends her day cooing, smiling, nursing, and snuggling. She doesn’t take very many or very long naps during the day, but gets a good 6-7 hours of sleep at night, feeds, then sleeps for an additional 3-4 hours before getting up for the day. She loves to sit up and look around at the world, and she is now starting to reach at toys that dangle from her bouncer. She is such an easy baby, and I love her to pieces! Happy 2 months little miss Hadi!

peace & love
brittney

Health

From a very young age and into high school I was very active in sports. I have tried them all (swimming, basketball, volleyball, softball, & I learned golf from my uncle in TX and use to play a little tennis with my parents during the summer months) but the one sport that stuck from age 4 to age 18 was soccer (futbol). It was a huge passion of mine, and still to this day I love the sport! However, I started having knee problems in junior high, and by my senior year I hung up my cleats. Soccer had kept me in pretty good shape, so after soccer was done I began gaining a little weight. Then I had two kids, and gained a lot more weight. My goal now is to lose some weight, get back to working out and running, and hopefully take those cleats out of storage! My first goal is to lose 8 pounds. Those 8 pounds will bring me back to my pre Hadiley weight. After achieving that loss, my next goal will be to lose 13 pounds. That loss will bring me to my pre Rhemidy weight. After that my main goal will be to build some muscles (read,some, not a lot) and just get in a daily workout routine to keep for life. I would, however, like to then lose an additional 17 pounds to bring me to a good healthy weight for my age/height. (so total we are looking at 38 pounds)

One of the ways I am going about this, is by trying to eat smarter & healthier. I am starting by cutting way back on my sugar in take. Not getting rid of all the sugar, because this girl LOVES her sugar. As well as eating less bread, and the bread I eat will be wheat and rich in fiber and protein. And once I get the go ahead from the docs (still pp bleeding unfortunately), I will start working out; focusing on abs/waist & arms/chest. (my soccer legs are still in pretty good shape πŸ™‚ ) Also, I found this article to give me some ideas when it comes to meals that go well with breastfeeding!

http://blog.womenshealthmag.com/scoop/breastfeeding-diet/

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My breakfast today was some wheat, fiber filled english muffin bread with a little bit of peanut butter and banana. With some delicious, sour green grapes. & crystal light to drink.IMG_9379
For lunch the kids had some frozen pizza, bread sticks, & fruit… it sounded so good, so I took some wheat pita bread, put a little tomato sauce, a little bit of cottage cheese, and some shredded cheese in the middle and cooked it in the oven for 5 minutes at 450… it was awesome! (and that one little pita pizza had 9g of protein! & less than 200 calories!) I also had some strawberry honey flavored greek yogurt with strawberries, blueberries, and black berries. Yum! (and filling!)

Well time for me to get a little quiet time while all the kids are down for naps, then off to play outside in this beautiful spring weather!

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πŸ˜€

peace & joy
brittney

Time is passing

Winter is finally over, (well according to the calender that is) however days before ending it decided it was time for sickness to hit my family. A whole lot of tissues have been used and the sounds of coughs are heard throughout the day and night. I am finally starting to feel better, however I cannot tell if Hadi is getting better, or starting to get worse. :/ Hopefully better. I am ready for sickness and cold weather to leave, and spring to bring sunshine, flowers, and warmer weather! Due to late nights, and early mornings with a house filled of kiddos, I have been slacking on updating! (update: I have a sinus infection, Rhem has an ear infection, and Hadi has an eye infection! holy sickness! but we are all in good moods and are getting better!)

Well my sweet little Hadi is 6 weeks old. She is getting stronger each day, LOVES being in my Moby Wrap, or ring sling. She has started cooing more and smiles ALL the time. She is such a happy, content baby! Breastfeeding is going AMAZING. I love it. I want to be a source of encouragement for anyone who has tried, and quit before. With my Rhem I tried, and around a month gave up because it hurt, we had latch troubles, and bottles just seemed so much easier. This time around I wanted to try breastfeeding again because I realized how expensive formula is, and I HATED cleaning out bottles all the time and making sure I packed bottles, water, and formula every time I left my house. While in the hospital with Hadi I had a difficult time with the latch again once my supply came in, and anytime I did get her to latch it HURT. I gave up for a week while in the NICU and when we first came home and just pumped like crazy. Well I didn’t want to give up that easy so during the day I would try to get her to latch before every feeding. It took two days until we she latched on and stopped using a bottle. Now all the bottles have been packed away and I no longer need to pump. Let me tell you, breastfeeding is so much simpler. Not only am I saving money, but I don’t have to pack her milk with me every time we got out, and no more cleaning bottles! Obviously there is also the bonding that comes with breastfeeding as well as the nourishment, but let’s face it, I am cheap and lazy so the no bottles and saving money is what sold me. hehe. But really, it does get easier! Don’t give up! ( I am by no means against formula feeding, seeing that I have a very healthy, smart almost 2 year old who was formula fed. I understand for some people breastfeeding is not even an option due to medical reasons, but for those who are able to breastfeeding but are just having a difficult time like I did with my first and are really wanting to continue, there is hope! Also, I just had my first real bonding experience with my LO while nursing, She was eating away and I looked down at her to see if she was falling asleep and she saw me look at her, stopped nursing, and gave me a huge smile. AH. my heart melted. so perfect.)

Rhem knows: Circle, square, heart, star & yellow, pink, blue & “O”, “M”, “R”, “Y”. (all other letters are “B” haha) She has been a bit on the whinny/dramatic/melt down phase, which I am hoping is from having an ear infection and hoping it passes soon! I am getting so excited for her second birthday, although starting to feel a bit stressed! This sickness has thrown me off and I just realized I have 4 days until her party. Ahh. I need to make a menu and do some shopping! Not to mention right after her party we have my cousins baby shower, than the next day we have Easter. Lots of shopping needs to be done in these next 4 days! Good thing I am a professional shopper! haha Rhem has been so helpful these last few weeks! She LOVES to help sweep, clean up spills on the ground, she learned who to use a spray bottle, and she is always wanting to throw things away! (occasionally I need to go look into the trashcan to make sure she hasn’t thrown away any clothes, toys, books, or utensils… all of which I have had to pull out of the trash and wash haha)

I have been working on this update for 4 days now, and there isn’t even much in it! These girls have been keeping me busy! Ok, I cannot completely blame the girls and sickness… you see, my Brother-IL sent us the complete Smallville series about 2 weeks ago, and well we started at season 4 (we have already seen 1-3) and we are now finishing up season 7. (that is about 70 episodes in 2 weeks… haha we are a little obsessed.) We also have had Michael (the brother in law who sent us smallville) over for his first home made meal since getting home from Afghanistan last week. We also had our friends the Sullivans over for dinner (which they made all the food and brought it too us to enjoy!) so they could meet little Hadiley and we could see their son who is growing so fast! Crazy when you go months without seeing friends who live just down the road! We ALSO had Rhemidy participate in her very first Easter egg hunt! She LOVED it. After I got to take some pictures of a family I absolutely adore who is currently pregnant with baby number 3! & I did accomplish to get some of the decorations for Rhem’s birthday party. So I we have had some “play” time in the mix of work & sickness!

Alright now the kids are finishing up their lunch, which means I need to put them down for nap soon, and make a list of what I need to get this week for the party! busy busy busy.

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-brittney

One & Twenty Three

Hello, time? Where are you going? Ahh. On Wednesday my little Hadiley turned a month old. On Thursday my little Rhem turned 23 months old. There are moments where I stop and think, “Holy cow, I am about to be a mom to a two year old!” while other times I think, “Wait, Rhem isn’t two yet? I feel like she should be turning 3!” She is just so vocal and smart I feel like she turned 2 forever ago! Everyday Rhem seems to have more to say, however when she is upset she is having trouble voicing her problems. She usually just covers her face, throws herself on the ground, and screams. Delightful. :/ I have start counting to 10 with her, followed by taking a DEEP breath to collect ourselves, then I ask her what is the problem. So far this has helped her calm down enough that she isn’t kicking and screaming, but she hasn’t quiet grasp the part of telling me what is wrong. But hey, it’s progress! Hadi is wonderful. & I love her to pieces, however, that child sure loves to be held. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE cuddling her, but it is exhausting that she wakes up EVERY TIME I simply lay her down. During the day I usually am able to carry her in my Moby wrap or ring sling, but every now and then I like to try to cuddle with Rhem without the worry of her squishing her baby sis.

Confession, I started this entry like 4 days ago, so I totally lost my train of thought… haha

So to do a quick update, life is good. I could not be more in love with my two girls. Today Rhem started to use the word “awesome.” Every time she uses a new word I cannot help but smile in amazement at how much she is learning. She also has the color yellow down. And the shapes circle, square, heart, and star. Funniest thing is she now says, “Oh goodness!” every time Hadiley farts. (which is often!) Hadiley is a mama’s girl. She constantly wants to be held by mom. She will fall dead asleep in my arms, and as soon as I place her down she instantly wakes up and pretends she is starving. But oh goodness, she is SO sweet. She is always smiling and has started cooing a lot more. I love it. She is pretty strong at holding up her head already as well. I have put away all her newborn clothes and she is now filling out her 0-3 months. Girl has some crazy hair as well! It is so long and always sticking up! I love it though! Her eyes are also still very blue! (I am always attracted to colored eyes, one of my favorite features of my husband is his beautiful green eyes, so I was ecstatic that one of my kids had bright eyes… hoping they stay blue, but there is a good chance they will turn brown eventually.)

Time is just moving so fast. I feel like I am constantly running around, I am hoping things slow down soon so I can do more crafting with the kids, as well as crafting for some me time and possibly selling some of my things. I also want to do more fun entrys, some with DIY items, sharing a favorite recipe, and maybe some fashion. I also have been wanting to do a photoshoot with my girls, but like I said I plan and other things end up filling my time… such as changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, laundry, nursing, cuddling, cleaning, changing diapers, did I mention cleaning? lol

Well I am off to bed. It is midnight here, which means kids will be showing up in 7 hours. Hopefully I will be able to get my craft of sometime this week and have more interesting blog entrys!

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peace. brittney

Finding a little time

I have come to find that it is hard to find any time. Between taking care of a newborn, who wants to be held CONSTANTLY (and isn’t a fan yet of the slings, and I have a few different types) and an almost 2 year old who yearns for momsΒ  attention, as well as two other toddlers that I watch, then throw in trying to feed and diaper them all, oh AND trying to keep up on sweeping, laundry, and dishes, you can imagine I have some very busy days. It seems every time I finally get the 3 toddlers to do something, baby Hadi wakes up ready to eat, or just hangout in moms arms. It’s hard to try to get time to upload my pictures, check my messages, and write on my blog. Every day I look rather gaudy, with my extremely messy hair, my mismatched, stained clothes, and lack of make up. But while people would sit here complaining, how they miss having their “me” time, I cannot help but smile. I love being a mom. I love being constantly busy with my two beautiful girls. This is definitely what I was made to do. Yes, I have my moments where I want to lock myself in a closet for just 5 minutes of peace and quiet, but those moments are rare. Those moments usually are due toΒ  trying to make lunch, while trying to separate two fighting toddlers, while trying to get Hadi to take a nap and stop screaming, while trying to explain to Rhemidy that she needs to share, while trying to get the dogs to stop whining. Ahh multitasking. Much more difficult when you have screaming children. πŸ™‚

Anyways, what has been going on in this crazy house? Well, Tomorrow my littlest turns 3 weeks. She has been doing pretty awesome. We are nursing GREAT. In fact, she now refuses a bottle, and only wants mom. πŸ™‚ We finally mastered the laying down position at night, which is awesome! (especially since her night nursing usually takes an hour, she likes to take her time at 4 in the morning. ahhh!) She has awesome awake time. She hates being on the floor on her belly, but LOVES laying on her belly on the boppy pillow. Her eyes are still a beautiful, dark blue. Her hair has lightened up a little more, to a light auburn brown.Β  We havn’t had a doctors appointment yet (it was suppose to be Friday, but we forgot, then got rescheduled for today, but due to the snow storm it was cancelled, so now we are looking at Thursday) so not sure how much she weighs, but she seems to be gaining away. She sure does like to eat a lot! Hadiley is also smiling ALL THE TIME. And every time I oooh and ahhh. She also is trying to coo back and mom. Most of the time it just sounds like grunts. πŸ˜€

Rhemidy seems older every day. Her words are growing, she is talking in more sentences, and we have entered the “I Wanted To Do Everything Myself” stage. Sometimes it is awesome, other times, not so much.Β  She always wants to walk at stores now (instead of riding in a buggy or stroller) and man, she is a slow walker. She also is a very distracted walker. But what do you expect from a toddler? Her birthday is a little over a month away, and I am so excited, and a little bit sad. My baby is turning two. Where has time gone? I have decided that this years theme will be Little Red Riding Hood… or as I put it, Little RHEM Riding Hood. πŸ™‚ (She was Little Red for halloween this last year, so I already have a cute little red cape I made her) I love looking up ideas for decorations and food, and am excited to start crafting! Rhem is just so perfect when it comes to being a big sister. She absolutely adores Hadiley already. She is constantly giving her kisses and talking to her, and is very protective of her sister. She needs to know where Hadi is at all times and what she is doing. It is a joy to watch. (as I type this, Rhem runs over to inform me that Hadiley is Nigh-Nigh in the swing.)

In over news, we got a new bed. A big, beautiful king size bed. A big, beautiful, king size, MEMORY FOAM bed. Oh it is so comfortable, and roomy, and wonderful. We also bought some new sheets and a new comforter for it, which of course now has us wanting to paint and re do the whole upstairs. πŸ˜€ (we still need to finish our bathroom and office room, oh and our hallway…)

In not fun news, we have been trying to allow our dogs more freedom, so we no longer have to kennel them. Well, they so far have ripped apart some towels, ate a whole in our wall near a door going outside, ate some base, tore apart a bag of stuffing from my sewing room, tore apart a ball of yarn, tore apart some tissue paper and gift bags, and got in the garbage. I hate dogs. I do not understand you dog people. I miss the laid backness of owning a cat.(although I love not having the litter box smell. cats smell. but are way better than dogs!)

Alright, well the baby is starting to wake up, and she will need some of mama’s milk! πŸ™‚

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A week old

What a wonderful day. Today my sweet little Hads turned a week old. What a busy week it has been. She is a beautiful, healthy 1 week old, and for that I am thankful. She is already beyond her birth weight, and is eating every 3-4 hours and having some good evening awake time. (which at first her awake time was 3 in the morning, AHH! now it is more around 5pm.) Now that my milk has been in for a few days (and boy have I been pumping to be able to bottle feed her, since we were having latch problems, and I am now 20, yes TWENTY, feedings ahead. My husband jokingly calls me Betsy, our daughters own personal cow…) it is a lot easier for Hadi to latch on, so yesterday and this evening we had to successful nursing sessions! I am one happy momma.

In other WONDERFUL news, I am currently writing this sitting in my living room next to my daughter Rhem and husband, while Hadi is asleep upstairs in our room. πŸ˜€ Yes, that is right, Hadi was able to come home this afternoon! So far it has been pretty good! Rhemidy is loving having a little sister. She continues to come over to ask to hold her for a brief second before running off to play again. She loves to pet Hadi’s hair and has warmed up enough to even give her hugs and kisses. Brings me so much joy. She did get a bit jealous a little bit ago when I was nursing and she wanted me to hold her as well and I just couldn’t. Thankfully daddy came in and saved the day by distracting her with toys in the play room while I finished nursing and put Hads up to bed.

My prayers for tonight is that I can get through the nightly feedings, without Rhem also waking up. Tomorrow Rhem is going to go with her Nana to bible study, giving her a chance to get out of the house and play with kids her age, and giving mom and dad some time with just hads. Later we have a lady coming over to take our pictures (we were goingΒ  to get them done in the hospital, but the NICU wouldn’t allow Rhemidy in the room, even thought we were being discharged and only wanted an hour for pictures) and I am hoping both girls participate. I realized that I never got pictures of PJ, Rhem, and me after Rhemidy was born until she was 6 months old, and we haven’t had pictures done since. (Rhem is now 22 months old lol) Well, off to bed I go. This mama is exhausted!

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peace & love.
-brittney

The last couple of days…

Wednesday morning I gave birth to another beautiful, 9 pound baby. She was alert, happy, and perfect. By evening she was admitted into the NICU because I was GBS positive, and her CRP Levels were twice what they should be. It has been an emotional roller coaster the last couple days.

I spent Wednesday night, all day & night Thursday, and all day Friday running between the 3rd (NICU) floor and the 5th (postpartum) floor. In between feeding times my husband would come to visit with Rhem. Those moments were always so sweet, but left me in tears every time they left, knowing I was spending another night away from my big girl, Rhem. It was a lot harder than I anticipated. It also is hard to spend time away from my husband, obviously, but it is harder with Rhem, especially when she starts to cry because she wants to stay with mommy. I just try to remind myself that she will be fine at home away from mom for a little bit, and that I am staying here so that I can care for our newest baby. Usually I am able to suck it back up fast, and continue with my night, but every text from husband brings back the tears. I just want us all to be home. Soon we will be. Must keep pressing on.

Last night, I was worn out, sad that my hubby and daughter just left, and knowing it will probably be an even tougher 2 days for Rhem, seeing that daddy will be spending his days at drill for the Army, and mommy will be at the hospital. Already upset, I check out of the postpartum area, grab my bags and head down to move into the NICU. When I arrive I see my daughter is now sleeping in her bouncy chair, with an empty bottle of formula sitting next to her. I come to find out that the new night nurse saw on the form if baby gets fussy to feed her formula… what that really meant was AFTER mom nurses baby and heads up, if baby wakes up with in the next few minutes acting hungry, feed her a little formula to help her get back to sleep, instead of making mom turn back around to feed for just a couple more minutes. I was furious. Even if my daughter wouldn’t have latched on, seeing some times we have problems with nursing, I still want to be the one to feed her. I want that bonding time. That is why I am still here and not at home with the rest of my family. Of course I cried and angrily text PJ about how upset I was. After cooling down and again reminding myself that the formula did not hurt Hadiley and that I have the rest of her life to bond with her, I went into my new room and got some sleep.

However, the night was not over. A couple hours later I woke up to a screaming baby ready to eat. First I needed to change her diaper, as I could smell a not so pleasant smell. Let me tell you, changing a hungry newborn babies diaper can be a challenge enough, but add in 6 different cords running down my her diaper, and hands that can reach and pull our her oxygen tubes, you got a real challenge. FINALLY diaper is changed and we are ready to eat. At this point Hadiley is furious with me, I try to get her to latch, she screams, her monitors are beeping like crazy since she had pulled out her oxygen, I am trying to keep as calm as possible to just get her to latch on, then the nurse comes in. “Oh, hey did you need help?” I stare at her blankly trying to understand if that was really a question. Of course I needed your help… you know like 15 minutes ago when I was trying to change a diaper wrapped in cords, with a machine that has been beeping none stop. However, I say nothing and look back down to try to get Hads to settle down and latch. The nurse then asks why I do not just give her some formula, I again explain how I REALLY want to breastfeed this baby. So every feeding I want to get her to at least nurse for a little bit, then after if she is still hungry, I will supplement. She just stands over me and watches. Just what I need, more pressure. Again, she pushes the can of formula. Finally I give in. I feed Hadiley her formula, followed by crying. Like I said, emotional roller coaster. When can I get off?

The next feeding I was overly emotional, exhausted, and just in a zombie like mood. I didn’t even try to nurse, as I had already felt so defeated. I got some more rest,Β  and when I woke up to a new nurse and I was ready to try again. We had a little bit of nursing time, but not enough to get even close to filling this big girl up, so she took some formula. After I got her to doze off, I started pumping. The next feeding when better. Nursed for 15 minutes, then she took a bottle of my bm I had pumped. Again, after she dozed off I began to pump. This last feeding was pretty much the same, we got a good 15-20 minutes of bonding, nursing time, then she drank and oz of the bm I pumped. I am feeling much happier and baby seems to be latching on better as well.

In other news, the doctor came by for his morning reports, and confirmed that we will be here for at least 7 days, but possibly 10. We have already been here for 3 days, so that means going home will be as early as Wednesday or as late as Saturday. Obviously I am hoping for Wednesday. He said she seems to be doing really well. She actually has already gained back her birth weight and some. She is getting completely weened off her IV today or tomorrow. She also is slowly getting weened off her oxygen tube as well. It was at 35% and now she is at 25%. Her vitals looks great, but that CRP still brings worry. She is continuing treatment for her CRP levels and hoping they go down in a few days so that we can leave on Wednesday instead of Saturday. Since the CRP is so high, they are doing back acupuncture to make sure she doesn’t have any fluids that could lead to infection in her brain. Again, this is a precaution type treatment, so that when she is released she is perfectly healthy, and doesn’t run a risk of suddenly getting ill with GBS.

I have been doing really well today though. PJ is on a break for drill right now to run and get me some more clothes from the house and possibly bring me some non hospital food. And later today my mom is bring by Rhem so I can cuddle her. We are keeping strong and thanking God that we are here for precaution and not because we have a child who is deathly ill. It could be SO much worse, and I am so happy it is not. I am also SO thankful for all of the support we have been getting from family and friends. You guys are awesome. Thanks for the encouragement, as well as laughs. Soon we will be home, and I will bomboard all of you with pictures of Rhem with her sister Hads. πŸ™‚

Mean while, here are some separate pictures of my girls… πŸ™‚
IMG_6450 IMG_6454 IMG_6456 IMG_6459 IMG_6461 IMG_6465 IMG_6468 IMG_6472 IMG_6474 IMG_6478 IMG_6479 IMG_6486 IMG_6488 IMG_6500 IMG_6504 IMG_6513 IMG_6516 IMG_6527 IMG_6531 IMG_6534 IMG_6535

-brittney